Every movement, every action, except involuntary and instinctive protective movements, made by a human being can be impelled by two driving forces..
One, the inherent pleasure that one would derive for himself.. or the absence of distress arising from his own self, if he or she abstain from doing something
Two, the tendency to impress, convince , or show off to others, or to prove to others one's own superiority even in minor things--the tendency for exhibitionism..
Maybe many instinctive actions attract praise and even give rewards..
That is nice..
But all the rewards there are bonus.. because the action has already been approved by one's own mind and spirit... and the satisfaction he derived is the real payment..
But actions taken or inaction imposed on oneself just to impress others might give a sort of happiness for a limited time.. Evidently that happiness is dependent on the likes and dislikes of others..
and the doer has little control over such likes and dislikes ..
In fact others pay attention to us only for a limited period...
So the pleasure derived from the attention of others can be temporary, or even counter productive, in the long run..
It has to be remembered that when others give us some appreciation they expect that we should return the favours.
I do not say we can do everything to please our own self alone.. and there are many people whom we love, on whom we depend and whose happiness or unhappiness, whose pleasure or pain may affect our mental equilibrium..
We have to accommodate and adjust in such cases..
But then accommodations and adjustments are eternal sources of turmoil..
Maybe that turmoil is the price we pay for living in the society..
We may have to adjust, but if we make adjustment the ultimate technique of our lives, we are doomed for ever..